I am lost for words.

What else am I supposed to do?

I guess you just can't change some ppl.

On a happier note,I LOVE HANISAH OH SO MUCH COZ SHE GAVE ME LIGHT,SHE GAVE ME GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

omg addicted much?

I am in guilt.

But I feel damn good.

Why?

I'm letting my addiction to lotsa things get to me.

Dayum.

I cannot let this happen.

Heck.

Who am I kidding?

Aaaaaaah I'm stuffing myself with Glee yo.

Ah really annoying.This is why I don't let people use my things.In one way or another,something will go wrong.Now my laptop's button is moving.Like really it will move when you press it.Not downwards but it'll move front and back.Like aaaaaaaaah.Go get your own and sppil it lah if you want.And now I cannot pin point.Why?Coz there are 2 people using it.Point at her she'll get angry.Point at her she'll get angry.

Ah this is me again.

Just giving in as usual.

I find this amusingly effingly annoying to hear.

Other people don't mind me doing what you don't let me do.

Fine,I can go to other people for help.

Whatever lah,other people treat me better than you do.

Other people know me better.

Eh seriously.

We know the worst of you.Yet we still treat you like you never did.

You can just forget that?I can't.

Those OTHERS you talk about?They WILL walk out on you,along with the rest of the world but I swear,I will NOT.And I did NOT.I didn't know wtf I was thinking honestly,to get myself into deep shit just for you.

But I did it anw.

And what you did,do and still are doing.

It's like spitting at the person who pushed you away so that you don't step on shit.

Just...stop it,k.You're acting like a bitch.

And trust me,karma's a fugly bitch especially to annoying bitches.

I got tuition today and tmr.Lack of sleep much,and yet here I am delaying the time when I punch the sack.Zzzzzzzzzzzz.But wait,I just felt like posting something suddenly.

Cik Mazni Cik At and babyloves Aul Juju Tuffa Kila are all safely home now.Till next time,insyaAllah.Or maybe even betta,we go there!

Anw,on to my rants.Not really rants ah,just thoughts.Haha shuddup fa shuddup.But since when can I really?I've been talking a lot lately.I should stop and zikir non-stop.Better use of ma time yo.

I used to be a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally sensitive girl,used to.But now,I kinda let things slide.Most of the time anyway.People make mistakes,and sometimes things that shouldn't be said are let out.And I myself do that,so why not just let it go...right?Right now,I have only this really really bad hatred for this person in school.But heck,I act like he's invisible.So whatevs.Other than that,nahhh.Let it slide to,be the bigger person.

But then (jeng jeng jeng),there's the pros and cons for everything.

Pros:

I feel more at peace with everything.It felt really...good.I like it.

Cons:

People kinda step all over you.And that's bad.Buuuuut I have learnt how to speak my mind now,so if I don't like it and I know I cannot let it slide,I will certainly tell the person.

I tell you,back then I'm more of the person who...accepts everything,take in everything even if it means sacrificing myself and say "If they're happy,I'm good." And note: It's not "...I'm happy.",it's "...I'm GOOD." May seem insignificant,but there's a difference.

I can say that LOTS of other people have done this MANY MANY times in their lifetime:

I rmm we were going around (shopping,yes believe it,fa,you went there) the mall.And I saw this shoe that I really,really liked.I wanted it so much,and seeing as my current one is in a horrible state (its soles are coming off,and the left shoe is more than halfway there,sucka).Then my younger sister saw this pair of shoes that she liked,and I thought it was really nice,too.And gosh,it costs a ton (nah,just exaggerating).Thing is,if I did work and am using my own money,I wouldn't feel so bad if I were to get the (omg so nice) shoes.In this case,it is not mine to spend.So,I gave way and let my sister have her choice of shoes.Unfortunately,my dad saw me looking,so he asked me to get them in my size.But I lied (I had to) and said that I didn't like it and that the colours were a tad too messy anw.Well,he knows me way better than most and I could sense that he sensed that I was lying.But I insisted that I didn't like it,so he let it be.If he were to continue,my mum would insist that I get them.Parents,pamper their kids too much.

Thing is,I never liked to be pampered.The only time I feel is right for myself to be pampered is when I've earned the means on my own.Not now.I am under my parents' care,and their responsibility is to bring me up a great person,and not to shower me with gifts and luxury.I never believe that,and I never want to be on the receiving end.

I hate the fact that money controls the world right now.True,money makes the world go round.And you can't help it but you do have to have money to survive.Relative poverty makes you wallow in self-pity.How shallow.Ironically,I want to earn lots of money.But not for myself.

I have great plans to carry out.

Just hope that by the time I am able,I am not too late.

Then again,it's never too late.

I don't like my class.

Ah get over it,girl.

I feel angsty.

What's happening?

I keep falling sick.

My head spins when I walk.

My head spins when I sit.

I can't run.

I can't climb.

I can't lepak.

Fishballs.

Everything's going wrong wrong wrong.

Ah but you know.

I was touched yesterday.

I was in bed.

Sound asleep.

And I felt my forehead being touched.

It was Ibu.

I jerked coz I was shocked by the super warm hand.

I was sick for 2 days.

And she didn't really get to see me or talk.

So she felt guilty.

And paid more attention to me till now.

And she nags at me too.

She scolds me too.

She still cares.

Ah heck.

She loves me.

Duh.

Dah stop being angsty lah girl.

Tak lawa.

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

Coz I think you can celebrate friendship everyday.And of course,coz of religious reasons too.

But thanks for the sweet things anw,friends.Spoil me only.

More importantly,there is a date on the Islamic calendar that we ought to know.

Ah mabugger.

I want these!

I was watching videos of the unfortunate September 11,accidents and I have no idea WHY I even watched them.Hmm maybe it's just me being NOT me.Anw,to actually make myself feel better before sleep,I am entertaining myself by watching GLEE videos and the originals of the songs they covered.

AND OMG I THINK I SHOULD BE A GLEEK.

I watch them lah,I do.Sometimes,when I'm free soooooooooo I missed this and that.SO,I'm watching the videos I have yet to watch and WHOOOOO I should start watching GLEE.

THIS IS THE BOMB!One of my favourites.

And Matthew Morrison looks so HOT in here.

Oh and this is the original Singing In The Rain.Veeeeeeeery nice.

And did you know George Sampson danced to Singing In The Rain?Here:

FREAKIN' AWESOME SHIZ.Ain't gonna get tired of him.

And I also realised that George Sampson has the same charming pair of eyes as this person.

Oh yes,no one but him.

Michael Buble.

*melts*

Aaah anw,back to GLEE *OMG looks up*.

Here's another I enjoyed.

Oh boy,that's no dumb at all hahah.

What contrast in this post.

AND it's true,I don't wanna grow up.I wanna stay as I am now.I realised that lately I am not enjoying training.I just enjoy only climbing itself.The rest is just shitty.Lately my mood has been been changing as fast as lightning.I think it's stupid.Why do I feel like this?PMS.Maybe.

And as always,I look to You.

Friendships and bonds that hope to last

The trust he holds unwavering, gaze steadfast

With love and faith you and I shall stay

This will last, permanent, whatever may

I want a tiger cub.

Coz it's so adorable.

Ps. Poachers go and die.

Oooooh cute.

RIDICULOUS DAY.Spent 4 hours watching 2 movies in school,coz like I frustratedly stated before the breaks are RIDICULOUS.Anw,watched Bride Wars and Aku Masih Dara.Bride Wars is FUNNEH but well,teaches you a thing or two about giving in.Aku Masih Dara is a malaysian movie,so it's in Malay and poor Syed.He doesn't understand most of it.Haha he should retake ML again.

CCA fair was just now.But it was training for us,coz how else do we how them what we do other than climb?So yeah,high wall it is.But thing is,I vomited like thrice after running.Maybe it's something I ate.But anyway,was climbing and felt really nauseous.But since I had a totally unproductive morning,I decided to just take my chances and climb.And guess what?While I was more than halfway up,the vomit went up my oesophagus and into my mouth.I didn't open my mouth coz then the vomit would drop on Saffy.But how do I tell her to lower me down without opening my mouth.So guess what?I SWALLOWED THE FUHREAKING VOMIT.BLUEK.And after that,coz I swallowed the vomit,I felt grossed out and I wanted to vomit AGAIN.

And so I did.

OMG what the heck did I eat?The last time I vomited was when I had food poisoning last year.That was worse coz both ends are involved.But still,vomit is disgusting.

J1s came and watched.Some of them tried climbing at the bouldering gym.

I noticed,that there are bound to be interesting people in the club,if they make it.

Come to think of it,I should consider myself lucky to be one of the 17 in the club now.

Jay's very picky.

Things seem to be getting prettier.

The deepest stare into your eyes

I wonder if it gives you butterflies

They both are gorgeous.

But why?

hahah it's fate lah don't ask too many questions can

And so here I am at home.

There was this ruckus just now where the dean actually lectured us about our attendance for yesterday.Well,the timetable's not official yet so there are IDIOTIC breaks here and there.Like say..5 HOURS??WTSHIT DO YOU EXPECT US TO DO??SO ya anw,the gate opens at 1.And at 1 there was Chem lecture.It's a freaking intro lecture,and not trying to act smart or anth but we know it's gonna be the same ol' same ol' ie the components for H2,topics etc.So,what else at 1 we went out the fuhreaking gate and well,don't expect to see our faces again for that day.Can't blame them,coz they're trying to get our grades up.But we had a 'nice' lil chat about our FEELINGS abt the breaks and the lecture,well at least those of us who were 'brave' enough to tell her abt it anw.Mahaha I told my parents abt the TIMETABLE like the day we got it,so they understood.The dean was being very nice.Coz she was defending us,like not let us be marked truant etc.Oh well,needless to say Fari felt really guilty and went for the GP lecture at 3 just now,when we actually ended at 12 and I could have gone home but nooooo my conscience made me do it.

Notice there are no paragraphs just ONE WHOLE CHUNK OF WORDS coz I AM A LITTLE FRUSTRATED WITH THIS WEEK AND IT'S ONLY TUESDAY

As usual,he's forever gaw-juz.

She's one sophisticated lady.

She's coming here suckaz.And I am another sucka,coz I won't get to see her :/

Can't see it here,but her eye makeup here is one awesome shizz.

$

We R Who We R.

I like her.

Now I'm a busy bee.

I pity Abah,coz he lost all his oldie SUPER SUPER NICE malay songs coz I spoilt his old phone.Soooo...I volunteered to download all the songs he wants for him so he can listen to some nice nice songs on his way to work.Gosh and there are a lot,I repeat A LOT,of songs.But it's ok,I'm listening to them and they're really,REALLY AWESOME.

Ok,PEACE OUT SUCKAS.

Like anyone's reading this anw HAHA