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Farizah or Fa or Izah or whichever you prefer
17,I have funny and awesome quirks
I love to think of myself as a superhero
coz superheroes get the chance to save the day
I blog coz I want to have something that reminds me of everything that I did,yesterday today tomorrow
I have a diary for that,but I can't put shitloads of pictures in it
It'll grow fatttttttttt
But it's still my best friend
This blog's just for my own use
Btw
I hate spiders
And I’ll let you in on a secret;
I love myself


bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

Up,up and away

Shit happens.No point denying that.Coz it's part and parcel of life.I have long since accepted that,though at times it's being denied coz I refused to accept reality just yet.Like what is happening now.No,it's not about that.It's everything else.Things just seem to go wrong,or rather not the way I wanted them to.I know,it's not in my power.It's never in my power,though I can safely say that there is absolutely no harm in hoping and trying to achieve the best.The best is not really unfolding as of now.Everything that I had hoped would go right took a left turn.They went horribly wrong.In my point that is.I don't really know how others view it.But heck yeah,wrong is wrong.

I had one of the awesomest hour ever,literally smiling from ear to ear.Thanks to D.It really was like waking up from a terrible nightmare.I couldn't believe that it was that good.I needed it,I needed a break.Thank God,he granted me that.But all good things have to come to an end.Though I have no idea why bad things just go on and on (and on).Well,of course it's to test us and all,see how we handle things.I am human afterall,and I unconsciously question His Decision.But I know what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.That,I believe.

Like I said,it had to come to an end.Well,I admit I am sick and tired of everything already.Really.To the extent that I am willing to let everything go,let them fly away unsolved.I don't want to bother myself anymore.Que sera,sera.This is not me.I can't believe I was actually thinking of just letting everything be.I knew this,but I let myself go anyway.

But I still have to find myself.

Which is why I am letting myself go.
I can't find the rationale for this,
but I believe it's the way. Up,up and away

Up,up and away

It's times like these that I will think really,really deeply about what's happening in my world,others'.I especially think about the people who were with me all the way,no tiny shreds of regrets in them.My family,my friends.I don't see the need to show my appreciation coz I believe it comes on its own,but by valuing their presence in my life and treasuring every second,I guess they already know.

Friends were with me almost the whole day,accompanying me anywhere anytime.I really love them,not only for that,but everything else as well.And there are a few whom I think deserve special mention in this blog which I doubt if anyone even reads it.it's for me to read and reminisce in,who knows,10 years' time?If this blog is still alive,that is.

To you.
I thank Allah from the bottom of my heart,for giving you to me as one of the bestest friends ever.I genuinely am grateful,and forever will be for this gift.I first got to know you through another,and we got so much closer after that.How it happened,I have no idea,but I'm glad things turned out they way they did.If not,I may even pass by you in the streets and never give a second glance.Gosh,how weird that'd be.I love hanging out with you,randoming,chatting,talking,basically do everything with you.We have been through a lot,and alhamdulillah,we managed to stick together thus far,whatever our differences were.I tell you,words can never describe how I am feeling right now.Everything just passes by so fast.Too fast.It's like a video being fastforwarded (hahahah) in my head.But I am glad that I took stops and pauses here and there,for if not,I may have not found you,my friend.I love you.

To you.
The first friend I ever made in my favourite school.I couldn't believe that this girl turned out to be exactly the opposite of my expectations.HAHA.Your malasness has now rubbed off on me,and I can blame you for that.it's highly contagious,and I have proof.You introduced me to something I never knew I was able to love,but thanks to you,I found a love interest (hahahah) and fuhh-reakin' awesome friends that stuck by me through thick and thin.Now I see your face everyday,but I will never get tired of it.Coz you are my source of comfort and security when things just don't turn out right.Thanks for worrying for me,for waiting for me,for being patient with me,for being a great friend.When things take a turn for the worst,you are always there,ready to lend a listening ear,a hug.SubhanAllah.I swear I don't know what I'd do without you,and I hope you and I will be friends forever.I love you.

To you.
I really don't know how we came to be soo close.I am happy anyway.God just has a Way of giving you the best,doesn't He?What would I do without you?All those phone calls,the emails,chats,you just know how to make me feel better,whatever the situation.Remember all the mornings at Macs?And when we were late on my birthday coz I just had to have my birthday breakfast at Macs?Haha good ol' times.Hmm..i still remember the underwear you gave me for my birthday,and I have yet to wear it yet hahah.If only our school were nearby,or even better,if we had a common school.I miss your huggs,and how you would complain that I was too skinny,it was like as if you were hugging nothing.I gained weight by the way.47 kg now ! :D I love you,both with and without braces,long and short hair.I am and will be there for you just like how you are for me.

To you.
You are the funniest person I have ever met,who is able to make me laugh even in my most horrible of moods.You are a treasure,you know that?I remember when you first talked to me,I thought "Hmm..this girl is interesting.I need time to get used to her." Hahah bottomline,you are totally one of a kind,in a good way of course :D I mean how can I not love you?:) I still keep all,like seriously ALL,the prezzies that you gave me,you know.And I never planned on discarding them,not once.I need them all,for memories' sake.I know I can never relive the times back then with you,but then they help me remember and I will smile to myself like an idiot.A happy idiot :D I wished I could still receive a hug from you everyday.You reassure me when I am down or doubtful.Lucky me,coz I remember we were together a couple of times for groups/camps stuffs right?:D Go Bowties!!I love you,just like how you love me :D (I hope you do ;D)

There.All said.Well,not all.But at least some were said and done.
Whatever it is,I will be there for you guys wherever and whenever.I may not be there physically,but know that I am always with you guys at heart.
And you guys will always be in my heart. Up,up and away

I'm done with it.Almost over and done with :D Up,up and away

I'm done with it.Almost over and done with :D Up,up and away

I need time. Up,up and away

All I need is a listening ear.
That's it.
Oh wells,too high a hope ain't ever healthy.

And as I've said,I'm a disappointment,
especially to myself.

Labels: break

Up,up and away

Black Beauty

Story of life that never be
about the tail that swishes free
With darkness that works to tear apart
the friendship true that grows from the heart

Labels: awwshucks, happiness, hmmm, live life

Up,up and away

People come and go.

That's why it's best to have memories of them with you.Not just any kind of memory,but good ones.So that you'll remember the person as someone great.Hate is not pleasant and I don't like living in it.Unfortunately,there will be something that never fails to irk you somehow.
Now,love.Isn't that wayyyy better?It'll take a lot less energy,and is amazing.
But then again,not all things un-irk you,right? Up,up and away

The intense and cavernous psyche.
Hard to fathom,easy to guess. Up,up and away

Deep beneath the exasperation of a soul enclosed by the forlorn vicinity that has a melancholic vibe which has ceased to ease the strain.

Alas,the algorithm that has long since gone to evade the pleas of the once loquacious essence has now been erased to reveal that of a long ride on the wheel to secure the all essential harmony of silence.

Labels: More than words, scent of the rain

Up,up and away

The papers are over and done with.Honestly,I don't know what to feel.And nobody's helping.

"Dont worry,you'll do fine."
"I know you can,you did ok before whaat."

Well,at least one person bothers to listen and understand how I truly feel,and she agreed with me.I think I did ok for most,except one.And I am scared that coz of this one,I have to face that stigma that I hate so much.I've always thought that it's ok,you know.Nothing's wrong with that.Well,I still believe so.There's totally nothing wrong with it.It's just one year,better than flunking the major one coz your foundations are shaky.Trust me,mine is.Just for that particular subject that I hate so much.Gah.I've had nightmares haunting me,causing me to break out in cold sweat.Oh my oh my oh myyyy.This is ridiculous.

When I didnt have a single worry about stuffs,they turn out wrong.But when I do,they just turn out right.Hope this is the reason why I am worried sick now.

Or else
I think another year ain't that bad.And I believe He knows better.
Of course He does.

Anyhoo,I've tried my hardest.
Blood,sweat,tears all in.None excluded.
I hope they're worth it.

But if everything turns out for the better,
it's gona be all worth it right?

No matter which way the path turns.

Labels: break, huggs, Right choices, weird laughter much

Up,up and away

I must say,I am a disappointment.
Like I haven't before.
At times,I think those who were trying to comfort me were lying.
But at least they tried.


I think I will disappoint others again (and again).

Labels: little little

Up,up and away

They're awesome too.

When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change Up,up and away

Whoa talented dude. Up,up and away

My happiness isn't that important.It's yours that matters.It sounds cliche,but really.You are the most important person in my life.When I look at you at times,I don't want to go anywhere else.I want to be by your side every second of the day.I rarely go against your word,no matter how much I want to.Whatever your wants,I will certainly oblige.Unless I really can't.When I dreamed that you were gone,you can't imagine how my world crumbled.

And that was just a dream.

Hmm...I've been thinking.I think I want to alter the route that I set for myself.I have been dreaming about this path since I was...really young?Come to think of it,I think it'd be a miracle if I ever made it there.This ain't pessimism,I am just being realistic.But this so ain't me.Well,I guess I have been dreaming for far too long,I may think unicorns are real.But if that were to happen,I'll get meself checked,no worries.Now,let's consider this alternative.Both paths are worthwhile,trust me.But then one is exerting this kind of attraction that is totally...I dont know.Oh wells.This is reality my dear,not fantasy.So,think carefully.

But who says I can't dream still?It doesn't hurt to dream,does it?
And who knows,it may even come true some day.

Labels: cool ke perr, cycling spider lunatic, Flying, hmmm, you

Up,up and away

Up,up and away

Dear sanity,don't leave me.
HAHAH.

Anw,it's been a ride,2010.New school,new faces.
But sadly,it's going to end a little later than I hoped it would.
Sighhhhhh
Penat lohhh

Memories will stay as memories.I aint braggin',but dayum I have one heck of a memory (this does not apply on certain stuffs like oh I dont know studiesssss).One of the more interesting 15 minutes of my life,I must admit.Made me smile like an idiot.

It's during times like these,when certain functions in my brain don't click,that my mind wonders like as if I don't need it.And that's where the notes are abandoned hahah.And it goes high up to the mountains (mann I wish I were there) back down to the beach (oh baby babyyyyy) and even lower at the ocean bed then BUMP right back to the notes.But the last part rarely happens,coz I don't want to suffer another bruise inflicted by reality so I will drag myself,no matter how violently my heart struggles and screams but then falls 'victim' and subdued by this rather annoying conscience of mine.That was totally unnecessary.Anw,what I'm tryna put forth is that I dream a lot.So yeah and I realised that I dream of lotsa peaceful environments.So yeah I guess that's where my mind seeks refuge in when the going gets tough.I ain't even sure if those landscapes were real hahah.Maybe I saw them somewhere.

I'm hearing a lot about people getting heartbroken here and there.And I just listen to it,and never thought much of it after.But this got me thinking.Maybe such experiences will help you in the future.I am always for this mindset,that there will surely be time for that later.Plus,I am in no rush or bother to go and search for anyone.When it happens,it happens.Just go with the flow.But different people have different thoughts and perspective.So I thought it is interesting to listen.
But what if certain things get in the way and you never made to the point where you get to feel it?That's some food for thought.My answer to that'd be that...I was never meant to feel it then.He is Fair.So,if it wasnt meant for me,then so be it.Coz my life is great the way it is.Sure,there are stains of black across the canvas.But I am still alive and fine right now,alhamdulillah.

Just that I am missing certain people right now.Really badly.But it ain't my choice.Trust me,if given a choice I would choose otherwise.But I am only human afterall,so I put all my trust in Him.

If given a choice,I would not have chosen school.
Hmm actually I most probably will.

I hate the phrase 'It's life,' coz it's like...I don't know,I just don't like it.

I don't like '.......', it's like I was supposed to read between the .......

Ahh now I think I am starting to ramble.Actually,I think I started a while ago.Yesss,sounds a little disoriented,I think.May be a waste of time.

Still,it contains a little of this,and a little of that.

Labels: hahaha, hmmm, little little, live life

Up,up and away